About 6 years ago I started to suffer from pain in the right hip and groin. It would come on quite suddenly lasting days. As a 40+ lady I was told it was fairly normal for a woman my age. After a further 2 years I returned to my doctors and saw a lovely new lady. Perhaps endometriosis? Or hernia? So x-rays and ultrasound done. Nothing showed. 6 months physio recommended, I just got worse.
So then a referral to the MSK clinic (musculoskeletal services) who decided another x-ray, hips clear, and MRI. I was told I had hip bursitis although it was explained this is a broad title for a range of pain around a joint, and cause still unknown.
Referral to spinal unit. Another MRI. Now I have been told I have a bulging disc pressing my sciatic nerve constantly, giving me 24/7 pain of varying levels. I have trouble dressing and bathing, my sleep is disturbed and I can not walk more than 1 mile. BUT, there is a positive to come from this.
As I couldn’t sleep I decided a new job may be in order to help lessen my pain. So I looked at courses online. In the last 16 months I have completed the following: Creative writing crime and children genres, criminal psychology, proof reading and copy editing diploma, pet first aid, animal care level 3, Feline nutrition, feline psychology, communication, and learning disability awareness with teaching techniques for ADHD, dyslexia and autism. I am currently on animal welfare and basic British Sign Language courses.
I admit to dark times and dark thoughts, I even considered throwing myself down stairs at one point. I admit its been hard not been able to enjoy days out as I cant walk for long, I felt that no one believed me, and I had moments I perhaps doubted myself. I have become more spiritual looking for remedies and turning to my angels, and in taking this journey I have found a new me.
Perhaps I was in here all along and perhaps the pain was required to open the door. So now it is up to me, I can close the door and shut myself in the darkness, or I can walk though into a new life with my head up and a smile. If I cant walk in straight at least I can limp through with my cane.
Annie, village cat lady.