FND: A STORY, A POEM

BY KATIE SWANN

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There can be days when it is sunny,
But most days it is dark,
I can hold myself together for a while,
But inevitably I will fall apart,
It creeps up on my body,
Like a casing of cement and steel,
But if you didn't know me,
You probably wouldn't guess I'm ill,
I hide the pain behind a smile,
The face the world sees is a mask,
I will tell you I am doing ok,
Whenever you might ask,
I keep it all inside myself,
I try so hard not to let it show,
But this condition never relents,
I just wish I could let you know,
I'm not as strong as you all think I am,
I'm not as amazing as you say,
This breaks me each and every day,
It never goes away,
Pain changes who you are inside,
It takes up every ounce of energy,
To just get through a single day,
Stuck in this body, being me,
When I am at my worst,
That is when I hide away in shame,
All the spasms and the tremors,
That this condition is to be blamed,
I'm embarrassed of how I look,
How I move, walk and talk are strange,
I do not understand how this has happened,
Surely I must be to blame?
It makes me feel angry and frustrated,
It makes me feel guilty, makes me sad,
I feel like I'm a burden to my family,
I hate myself, it feels like inside I am bad,
You may wonder what has caused this?
Wonder what it is that has done this to me?
I can't explain, for I don't understand myself,
This condition that they call FND.


To learn more about FND, please click here.